I'm not dead....

The last couple of weeks have been full of sickness and and now my Grandmother is nearing her end.

So as you can imagine there's not a lot of room in my head for much else, unfortunately.

Dear Nan - I know we've had our ups and downs and for many years we didn't have much to say to each other that didn't involve a terse word or a screeching lung, but nevertheless, you are my Grandmother and I love you no matter what. There was a time, up until quite recently, where I questioned whether this was the case. But seeing you there, innocent, aged and now in need of freeing, I knew I couldn't NOT love you.

I don't want to see you in pain. I don't want to see you not knowing who any of your family are. I don't want you to suffer anymore; I just want you to be at peace. Go with Granddad. Go with your brother and your many friends. Just be free, be young and be the happy-go-lucky, carefree spirit that you oughtta be. I don't want you to just keep on going because you feel you have to. But I do want you know that all your many children and grandchildren cherish the time spent with you. It was one hell of a life, after all.

xxx